Best Laid Plans and Guilty Pleasures…

So, my husband was sent out of town on business this week. I have to tell you that the first thing that went through my head was “I don’t have to cook!” I pictured a week of bliss, eating out of cans, not putting the bread tie back on the bread without retribution, sitting in his chair and watching all those shows he hates. Heck, I can eat pizza or nachos and no-one will know. Well, the dogs will, but they know when to keep a secret. It’s kinda of a mutual agreement as long as scraps are involved.

I can throw my dirty clothes on the floor, stay up as late as I want and maybe, just maybe get all those ornaments ready for the club meeting on Sunday. Nobody will be downstairs with his hands on his hips suggesting that maybe I spend a little too much time working on crafty things and maybe I need to be down there with him watching TIVO. Because our TIVO recordings are up to 48% of the capacity! You heard that right. That is 48%! We certainly can’t have that!

But things don’t always go as planned. I came down with a massive cold/flu the day he left town and I just can’t shake it at the moment. The energy to get my butt upstairs to work on said crafty things is almost more that I can muster. And once up there, the cold medication I am taking makes me all bleary eyed and shaky handed. My crafty things are suffering!!

And then there is the pizza/nacho thing. What good is contraband food when you simply can’t taste it? Crap.

So last night, I did as much painting as I could and then gelled on to the couch for the rest of the evening with my box of kleenexes and my ginger ale and my cough drops. And both little dogs positioned their warm hot-water bottle-type bodies on my lap. One thing about dogs is they know when you don’t feel well and try to compensate for it. Much love was sent my way. Those nachos? Well, I guess I’ll stick with soup for the moment, darnit. But I still have a few more days…

So in my drug-induced stupor, I ran across a new reality show called Bridalplasty. The premise is that this group of twelve brides are put in a house together to compete for a dream wedding and full body plastic surgery. A total trainwreck. And I could. not. look. away. The first competition involved putting a puzzle of their potential post surgical self together. First ten got a syringe and an invitation to an “injection party” in the other room. I kid you not. The last two were at the mercy of the others who voted one off the show. One interesting note is that one of the brides is a former contestant on Biggest Loser. I have to wonder what Jillian would think of her new life challenge.

I spent an hour of my cherished free non-husband time viewing this travesty of a show. It ranks right up there with Toddlers and Tiaras. Of course I set the TIVO to record the series. Far be it for me to ignore a good train wreck. I’ll just have to be sure to watch the shows before my husband notices that the TIVO is now at 52% capacity. I’m in big fat trouble now….