Of pollination and compromising positions…

My pollinated VW bug. It used to be black. Really it was. Now it’s just a nervous little bug, keeping it’s eye out for errant bumble bees.

Welcome to Atlanta in the spring; land of sneezy, coughy, chokey yellow pollinated air. I’ve lived in many places in the country, but I truly never encountered the amazingness of the pollen season until I landed in Atlanta. It floats in big yellow clouds above the city not unlike smog, covers your hair, gets in your eyes, and drifts into little yellow pollen-drifts along the curbs. We are a bee’s version of paradise.

Yes, Spring has sprung in Atlanta. Our southern ground hog, General Beauregard Lee said it would come early. He was right. Beau comes out of his southern mansion, “Weathering Heights” every Feb 2, to a plate of cheese’n eggs served by the local Waffle House and predicts the weather for us. He is supposedly 93% accurate which makes him about 100% more accurate than the local weathermen who can’t even seem to get it right a day in advance, but that’s another story.

Anyway, just as Beau predicted, “Spring sneezes and petunias ahead”. We have flowering trees in purples, pinks and white and Daffodils and Tulips. Forsythia bushes in full bloom, bees buzzing and birds nesting. And the air is full of the yellow fir tree pollen that Atlanta is so famous for. I am one of the fortunate few who doesn’t suffer from allergies in the spring. Unlike my husband who spends the entire month of April with his nose in a hanky.

So with the change of seasons, I decided to try and fit a bit more exercise in my routine. I am fortunate enough to work for a company that stresses health. We have a full sized gym and locker room on site. Also, the currently empty third floor of the building has been set up for working out to exercise videos. They have a P90X class every day at noon and Yoga on Wednesdays and Fridays.

Just between me, you and the lamp post, I’m not a huge fan of either one. P90X is too extreme for my taste and as many times as I’ve tried to like it, yoga just makes me crazy. But I do like Turbo Jam, any form of kick boxing, and I have the full set of Slim in Six and P90 videos that I enjoy. My biggest rule for exercise is to only do what I enjoy. Otherwise, I would never stick with it.

So, for the past two weeks, I’ve waited until 1:00- when all the crowds in the gym and third floor go back to work, and worked out to a video by myself.

Yes, I’m anti social like that.

Anyway, after the first few sessions, I began to notice an unnerving trend. During the entire hour that I’m working out, the door to the stairwell opens and closes at least 20 times. Turns out folks in the building like the privacy of the third floor restrooms. (I’m thinking those are some pretty poopy restrooms). And each person always feels the need to come around the corner and watch me for a moment. They’ll wave, give me a thumbs up or yell some sort of “encouragement” at me and then go on about their business.

I might as well be working out along the side of the interstate for all the privacy I’m getting. Not to mention the fact that it seems like every time someone comes around that corner to eyeball me, I’m in some sort of compromising position. I’ll be stretching for all I’m worth, butt in the air, trying to touch my chin to me knees, when suddenly behind me I’ll hear, “You go girl!”

O.M.G.

I’m almost expecting a public service announcement over the intercoms, “For your entertainment purposes, an awe inspiring exhibit of Suzy’s butt is now on display on the third floor. Be sure to bring your protective eyewear.” Ha!