Our Featured Guest Star- The Cheese Blarg


Today, we are interviewing Jodee from the blog, “I’d Like Cheese on My Entire Family”(The Cheese Blarg).  Jodee is a fabulous cartoonist and humor writer who specializes in looking at the things we see and do every day and pointing out the obvious humor that sometimes we miss.  Her blog always puts a smile in my day, and since I like to fancy myself as a humor writer, it sure doesn’t hurt to hang out with a real one.  Maybe some of that laugh track will rub off on me. 
My buddy Tom Selleck and his mustache has been preparing the Green Room for her arrival.  Since he knows that she loves reality cooking shows, he took the liberty of inviting his friends Alton Brown and Bobby Flay from Iron Chef.  Unfortunately, he could not wrangle up another Iron Chef for a competitive match, as the rest of them were previously committed to go on Oprah’s show today.  Yah know, I’m getting just a bit tired of Oprah hogging up all the good celebrities these past few months. 
But never one to admit defeat, Tom rounded up Jilly Bean and Rastus from the local Waffle House.  I know you are all saying, “Waffle House cook vs. Bobby Flay”??  But you know, my buddy Tom might just have put together the ultimate competition.  In one corner, the reknowned reality chef known for his fancy meals and competitive spirit, and in the other corner, our buddy Rastus, fresh from the heat of the Waffle House kitchen where his vast knowledge of the use of lard and hashbrown potatoes, and his friendly toothless nature has kept many a lonely trucker from a long night of hunger pangs.  

Rastus is from the front lines, folks! He deals with the regular people.  The ones that don’t necessarily put a napkin in their lap, or dress up for dinner, or make reservations, or know what the heck a squab is. 
So kitchen stadium is now in my Green Room, with Bobby Flay in his Iron Chef outfit on one side of the kitchen, and my buddy Rastus in his dress wife-beater t-shirt on the other side.  And Jilly Bean helping out as his sou chef.  (I’ll have you know, she slices a mean lettuce wedge)! 
And the secret ingredient?  Well cheese, of course! 
So while the competition heats up, lets take a few moments to interview Jodee.

Suzy: Tell me a little about yourself, your family, your hobbies…  

Jodee: I’ve spent my life moving around. My father was in the military and so I have lived all over the country, though most of my formative years were spent in Miami Beach, Florida. I’m actually really shy until I get to know people and then I am pretty much how I am in my blarg.  Right now, my mom, my sister (and her family, including the nephew I write about) and my husband and I live within a 1/3 of a mile of each other. I mean, my husband and I live in the same house;  we like each other a lot and so it makes sense to live together.

I can’t text well, and each short message on my 3+ year old phone takes me about 5 minutes from beginning to end.  It’s a lot of effort, so I am therefore peeved when I send out a several sentence text which takes me 3 minutes per sentence to type and I get back a reply of “K.” 

Even more so when I have asked a question in the text before making a statement and I then have to write another tortuously slow message to clarify.
Someday, I hope to get a real cell phone and maybe some friends so I can add super fast texting to my list of skills

Jodee: As for hobbies, I enjoy cooking, and reading, and detective work. I would add writing and art to that but they are pretty much my job, not my hobbies, now.

Suzy: When and why did you start blogging, and where would you like your blogging to lead?  
Jodee: I actually started “blogging” about 10 years ago because of peer pressure… but the current blarg, I started in November because I was ranting in my regular online journal (I really hate the word blog and will use any variation to avoid saying it) about how obnoxious my computer was acting and I wanted to illustrate it, and Blogger seemed like a good place to upload photos and share my thoughts that were appropriate for the general public because I had been told, just that week, that I was pretty funny.

When it comes to advertising food, I would 

a) prefer that it not be personified, especially when it is a vegetarian selection, and 
b)  prefer it not be super happy about offering itself for consumption should it be personified.  It’s gross, and off-putting, and frankly, fairly morbid.

I’m looking at you shredded mini-wheats…

Jodee: Of course, I want to be one of the most popular writers of humor on the internet EVER and get my own unicorn jumbo jet, but I would settle for not being destitute and/or having people who will answer random questions that I ask on twitter (like the definition of a word I am too lazy to look up while reading on my Kindle, or what I should eat for lunch, etc.) in a timely manner.

Suzy: How did you come up with your unusual blog name?
Jodee:  One night, about 10 years ago, my husband was trying really hard to be terminally grumpy, and while waiting in line in a fast food drive-thru, we overheard the car in front of us make the request, “I’d like cheese on my entire family!” which resulted in bales of laughter and a dramatically lightened mood. Which is the aim of my blarg. 

I am almost physically incapable of interacting with syrup without getting some in my hair, eyebrows, arm hair, etc. I didn’t even consume any syrup today. I simply poured a tiny bit onto pancakes my nephew was eating for  lunch and I ended up with a piece of crumpled straw wrapper coated in strawberry syrup stuck to the side of my head. I am fairly certain other people don’t have this problem.
Suzy: Can you tell us a few things that most folks don’t know about you?
Jodee:  I’m terrified of serial art.  I put off doing “this” for a long time because I was completely convinced that I could never draw the same thing twice.  Even though I majored in visual arts at the University of Florida, with a concentration in figure art (drawing people, mostly naked), the idea of drawing cartoonized people is really scary for me. Hence why llamas and other animals stood in for people in a lot of my beginning posts. The hardest part for me, often, is the illustration, and my friends have to deal with me, on a regular basis, asking, “What the hell should I draw here?!” although I almost never listen to them and end up drawing a dinosaur.
I learned today, while sitting in front of my computer, that I do not have the ability to eat a chicken soft taco using only one hand.

Suzy: Your blog is a wonderful collection of humorous posts. In fact, I first found you when Blogger featured you on Blogs of Note. Congratulations, by the way. Can you tell me what inspires your posts?

Jodee:  Thanks, I was pretty thrilled that my plan of intimidation and daily annoyance worked. I kid, about the intimidation, at least. Most of my posts are pretty off the cuff.  I do have a list written down of stories I would like to tell, and things that my nephew says. I keep recording stuff with me most of the time so that I don’t forget things that I find amusing that would work for a post, but mostly, I write about things that I encounter during the day.  If worst comes to worst, I start drawing something that randomly pops into my head and then make up a story about it.

Sometimes, I get the feeling that I am part moth. I usually get this feeling when my retinas are being burned because there is an uncovered light bulb somewhere and I am repeatedly staring at it despite my desire not to do so.

Suzy: Since I’m kinda a crafty blog, I have to ask. Are there any particular crafts that you enjoy?   
Jodee: I really enjoy paper crafts.  I am sure there is a name for it.  I like cutting and gluing construction 
paper to make things, mostly animal scenes.

I’m absolutely in love with the St. Louis Arch.  Of course, like most of the objects of my affection, it is totally uninterested in me, and pretty much just tolerates me standing near it and sighing, because it enjoys the attention and doesn’t mind stringing people along. 

Fine, fine, I am more like a stalker of the St. Louis Arch, because I drive past it and stare longingly at it every time I have the opportunity, and I am afraid to get up in it, and it makes me anxious, but I love it so. I really do.

Suzy:  Since I’m also kinda a sitcom blog, my buddy Tom wants to know if you have a favorite tv program?  Other than anything starring him of course.
Jodee:  I really enjoy House and How I Met Your Mother, as of late.  Of course, there are the classic favorites like Seinfeld and Friends. I’m also a big fan of cooking shows, especially the competition sort (Chopped, Iron Chef, Top Chef, etc.).

Suzy:  The blog community is full of wonderful folks.  Can you tell me some of the blogs out there that you like to read?
Jodee: I am most loyal to Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh, as well as Cake Wrecks and Epbot (both written by the illustrious Jen Yates).  I also really enjoy Lily at The Incoherent Ramblings of a Single Parent,    and Mary at Just Inappropriate  cracks me up with every update.  And I am also quite fond of Bean’s adorable crafty creatures at Everyday Critter

Thank you so much for stopping by, Jodee.  It has been a real pleasure meeting you!  Please take a few moments and swing by Jodee’s site, “I’d Like Cheese on my Entire Family”.  Her humor is contagious and will totally put a smile in your day. 

And let’s find out who won the Iron chef competition!  Our judges are my buddy Tom Selleck, his mustache, and Bubba from the local tire center.  And it appears that while Bobby’s dish, Lobster Club with Crispy Serrano Ham and Watercress on Chipotle Brioche with Goat Cheese Queso Fundito brought that special flavor to the table with a hint of spiciness and unpretentious creaminess, Rastus’ dish which incorporated the basics of smothered, covered, topped and chunked hashbrowns and catfish chunks in Velveeta cheese sauce might have just run away with the prize.  

I think the addition of Juke Box music in the background playing Sweet Home Alabama and the side of greasy fries might have helped Rastus’ cause.  That and the fact that Bubba was a bit appalled that you could make cheese out of a goat. 

And nobody knew what to do with that second fork.