My secret to making a good impression…or not

BySusan Myers on humor

The SNAP Conference will be happening again at the end of this month.  This year I cannot attend due to a certain RV that I need to pay for, but I had the opportunity to attend the huge blogger convention last year. Located in Salt Lake City, the conference draws creative bloggers from all over the US.

You know, there is a reason that I call this blog The Sitcom.  Last year was a prime example.  Want to know how to not make a good first impression?  I totally have your back…

snap conference group shot

Laura from Pet Scribbles, Johnnie from Saved by Love Creations, me and my lip, and Katie from Sew Woodsy

If you read the Sitcom much, you probably already know that the hubby and I travel a lot.  Well, at least several times a year we try to get out of the house, blink at the sunshine and look around.  The SNAP conference was not only a cool opportunity to do just that, but actually meet some of the folks that I only know on line, and meet representatives from craft brands in person.  It was my chance to make a great first impression!

And…it totally went downhill from there.  It turns out that first impressions are not my strong point…

Image

How to make a great first impression in 9 easy steps!

1. I was told that my Sponge Bob Square Pants T-shirt would be inappropriate for a first impression kind of thing.  All the other bloggers were wearing cute coordinated outfits.  Not being a cute-coordinated kind of person, I went on a last minute desperate shopping trip and came up with a couple blazers to go with my blue jeans. I bought navy blue, and uh…another navy blue one.  Well, one step up from Sponge Bob, right?

2. Because I’m a last minute packer, I was running around the night before, washing clothes and stuffing suitcases, when I managed to trip over my pack O’ Dogs and fell smack onto my face in the laundry room.  Due to the predominance of smelly dog beds in that room, my face survived just fine, but unfortunately I managed to break my big toe in the process.

Go to the doctor?  Heck no.  Just a toe, right? I have nine others!

las vegas sign welcome

3. We fly out to Las Vegas and spend a few nights there with the plan of winning a million dollars, calling the bosses, quitting our jobs, buying a RV, and moving permanently out west.

The plans kind of fell through.  That million dollar thing?  Not happening.  And the toe thing?  Well, apparently broken toes do not like tennis shoes, and really do not like walking around casinos.  Who knew?  My toe was now the size of a baseball as we left Las Vegas and headed to SLC to make that awesome first impression…

driving through utah

4. We stop in Zion National Park in the middle of the desert at the bottom of the state of Utah.  It rains all day.  Pours.  In the desert.

I’m cool though.  Me and my now soggy baseball toe limped over to a local restaurant to have a bite to eat.  I decide to splurge and share a plate of jalapeno poppers with the hubby.

burn mouth on jalapeno

5. Public Service Announcement: do not bite into a jalapeno popper that just came out of the kitchen unless you are certain that the insides are a few degrees less than the interior of an erupting volcano.  That is of course, if you don’t mind getting a blister the size of a half dollar on your lip and halfway down your chin.

Totally not kidding.  That awesome first impression?  So out of the window…

blogger woman

6.  Soooo….we arrive at the convention and there are all the awesome craft company representatives just waiting to meet creative bloggers.  And all the fashionably coordinated bloggers, looking very cute in their heels and matching outfits.  Shaking hands, exchanging cards, meeting and greeting.

7.  And then I limp in with my baseball toe, and massive herpe-lip, flashing my best smile and hoping that they have terrible eye-sight.  And of course discovering after talking with several influential folks that my navy blue blazer still has the price tags dangling from the right sleeve.

name tag dork

Sigh.

Sponge Bob would have made a better impression.

8.  Well, at least I wasn’t the only nervous blogger there.  I was waiting in line for an open stall in the bathroom, when I see a flutter of business cards hit the floor inside and hear the exasperated cry of the blogger as she picks them up.  As she comes out and I go in, she apologizes to me.

I see why when I get inside.  Apparently one of her cards landed in the bottom of the toilet and would not flush. There was her smiling face looking up at me.  I had no choice but to pee on it.

And judging by the line waiting for the stall after me, I’m betting she got peed on all day.

9. I feel a little better now…

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paisley chickens

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I am an artist, crafter and humor writer living in Atlanta, GA. I attended the Atlanta College of Art, and have a background in fine arts, graphic design, and photography. I like to specialize in vintage and recycled crafts such as quilling, Ukrainian Egg Dying, batik and quilting.

16 Comments

  1. Glad I put a smile in your day! Truly, I don’t have to make this stuff up! That is why I call my life the Sitcom! LOL!

    suzy

  2. NancyGrace says:

    I will never take my cards out and look at them in a bathroom again. NEVER! But I will laugh every time I think of your outrageous true story. Thanks for making me laugh yet again!

  3. Hey, maybe you are a trend setter! LOL! Actually, my mother did that very thing once. Said she always got dressed in the dark so as not to wake my dad.

    suzy

  4. Now that is funny!! You apparently are an awesome aim! LOL!

    Hmmm…brings to mind my jello in the bra incident. But that story is for another day!

    suzy

  5. Don’t feel bad. LOL! It worked out in the end. It made a decent blog post! And the toe and lip have recovered just fine!

    suzy

  6. I just laughed and laughed as I read about your ‘making an impression’ and remembered the interview I attended, wearing one black shoe and one blue shoe! I don’t remember now if I got the job or not, but I am sure they got a few laughs out of me.

  7. Linda C Wilson says:

    I can soooo relate to how you felt, these things happen to me also..maybe this will make you feel better. A few years ago, I had just gotten a new job in a bank, and had only been there a week or two, and was invited to the Christmas party. My husband and I were at a table that I knew no one. Our dinner had Cordon Bleu Chicken as the main course. I had never had Cardon Bleu before, sooo; my first cut with the knife squirted greasy juice EVERYWHERE. I could have died on the spot right there, as finally looking up from my plate, I looked at the lady across from me and she had this greasy stuff all over her face, and running down her neck. Being the correct lady she was she dabbed at her face, etc. and kept on talking. It was not till later that night that I found out she was the Vice President of the bank’s wife. People told me later that was the best fun (and laughter later) they had at their parties..I would imagine some of the people still at the bank are still passing my (humiliating) story around. At least we kept them laughing Suzy!

  8. Nicole Baker-Wagner says:

    I agree with Pat, we like you just the way you are, with a messed up toe and a blister-lip! Your sense of humor makes you super cool in my book.

    And I just took a pee break after I read your piece, all the while thinking I need to keep your story in mind for my next bad day – Now I can say, “Hey, it could be worse – someone could be peeing on my face!”

  9. That made me laugh really hard, then I felt bad for laughing. 🙂 This would totally happen to me, and is why I will never attend any conferences. LOL!

  10. You poor baby! Welcome to my world. Quick – Run while you still have a chance! I tore the tendon on the bottom of my left foot – pain, agony and all the other lousy things you can imagine. Then to REALLY be efficient I dropped my hair dryer (big, old, clunky, did I say BIG, and heavy) on top of my right foot and broke my toe. Oh ratz and double darn!!!!!!!!!

  11. Pat Kichinko says:

    Next time, plan to break your leg, split your lip, lose an eye. When none of these happens, you’ll feel better.

    Seriously, I hope you learned an important lesson. Be yourself. YOU are the person we want to hear from. YOU are the reason we read your blog. YOU need to be…YOU.

  12. I swear Honey you sound like me, if I didn’t go by day something crazy didn’t happen I’d faint,probably do that too…Just brush hands off keep going I all ways say,,,,ha,ha,

  13. That was really funny! Your poor lip and baseball toe!!

  14. You absolutely crack me up. Thanks for the laughs!

  15. Hi Laura!

    You know, I don’t even have to make this stuff up! It just falls in my lap so to speak. LOL! And yes, it is kind of like going back to high school and sitting at the unpopular kids table while the cheerleaders talk to all the good looking boys. But with a herpe lip. 🙂

    suzy

  16. Oh Suzy what a true story. You such a joy and make me laugh at your honesty. I went to 3 big blogger bashes. Exhausted myself and thought High School was easier. Not that I did not meet great people make opportunities…and laugh a lot. I cursed the High Heels that I wore..as I am not into self mutilation lol and they caused me more pain then child birth…did I mention I fell off said heels smack into a table. No I am not a battered women I wanted to say just a Blog Convention Survivor haha 🙂

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